There is plenty of sexual imagery out there, some say there is too much. I say there is not enough! Most of what i see isn’t really that hot to me, because I am not really turned on by the phony formula fashion sex I see on tv.

I know what turns ME on. (I might tell you about it some time.) The question is, do you know what turns YOU on? I am sure there are lots of things that get you hot. So this weeks tutorial is to find some fantasy, some picture, some video, some person that really makes you Hard and Wet. :p

Some people get turned on by confidence and power. Other’s by sensuality or imagination. Or maybe it is somebody’s uniform or office clothing. It is different for everyone.

Here are a few examples.

Send me links and pics of what turns YOU on and why and I’ll post them.

Send your fantasies, pics, videos or comments to cherylk@secretsofmasturbation.com

Anticipate the Sexual Encounter
Many people find that if they spend some time fantasizing about an upcoming sexual encounter, they can use their minds (imagination) to “turn themselves on” physically, as well as emotionally. It also helps for women to learn to identify what turns them on in their environment (i.e., romantic or erotic stories, love songs, videos, etc.) and use this material in anticipation of a sexual encounter. This process of “starting on warm” can help to make reaching “the end” easier.

Practice Letting Go
Orgasm rehearsal (in private) is often helpful for women who have trouble relinquishing control. Practicing orgasms, including making noises and “funny” faces, may help to gain comfort and reduce anxiety about having orgasms. This may help in the process of learning to orgasm.

I know you want to get straight to the nasty stuff and learn all about squirting gspot orgasms, and don’t worry, we will get there. Self control is a big turn on. But in order to get there, you need to be really comfortable and hot and horny first.

One of the things that gets me hot before I masturbate is just looking in the mirror. Try taking a few pictures of yourself and see what looks best. A bathroom mirror works well.

Here are a few samples for inspiration.

Learning to appreciate and accept one’s body is key to good sexual responsiveness. Obsessing over body imperfections–how it looks, feels, smells, or tastes, etc., will only get in the way of your fun. It is good to remember that most men get more turned on by an interested and interesting partner rather than by a perfect body.

Become an Expert On Your Own Body

Learning about your body and its responses is essential for most women to get off. The idea is to take control of your body and personally get in touch with your responses, then teach your partner what kind of touch is most pleasurable. Remember, he is not the expert only on his body! Your are! Women who haven’t learned about their bodies are not able to know what they like sexually. These women are often not orgasmic because they haven’t learned what works for them.

Looks like lululist is catching on. Check out this recent ad in the Georgia Straight.